Television as Motivation

I have been watching Making His Band. I’ve grown to love this season, because it is focused on musicians. Musicians have real talent and motivation: they had to learn to play the instrument and either they practised or didn’t. There is no faking knowledge of a musical instrument as you might be able to with rapping or singing.

I was watching Episode 6 online. Last episode, Diddy had given his new cd, “Last Train to Paris” to the band members and they were not focused on learning it. It was understandable- they are all young and no specific challenge had been laid out for them. Diddy made a surprise visit to the house and no one was prepared. And it scared them into working hard.

I felt inspired by that. That is the way I used to strive for what I wanted. I used to have a goal and tear away at it like a pitbull until it was achieved. I want to go to this college? I am going to work hard at my grades and join every extra-curricular activity I can to enhance my application. I am going to seek out alumni in my area and make sure I have my own personal cheerleading squad for the admissions board. I want to be a lawyer? I am going to read caselaw till my skin breaks out and my hair turns gray. I am going to leave nothing to chance.

Ever since my graduation from law school I have lost that drive. I had a series of jobs where I was unhappy and felt I had no future. Then the recession hit, leaving me feeling lost and without a goal. I don’t know what to strive for. I have always wanted to be a writer, but what does being a writer actually mean? Do I want to be a journalist? A hardcore blogger? A columnist? A novelist? Write essays for publication? I have skills in all areas, and I have no idea what to cultivate, what would make me happy. And where do I look for opportunities, in a market that seems as if it has none? So I am just meandering, writing of course, but with no clear direction.

Being a writer is amorphous. Not easily defined. And I have no idea how to proceed when the goal does not have clear and easy steps to help achieve it. I have a creative mind, but I am afraid. And I’m not quite sure what to do about that.

Seeing this episode, gave me a bit of that old spark back. It made me think about what motivates me and what moves me. What will make me happy. I still have no idea what I want to do, what direction I want to go in. But I am trying to write hard core again. Sit at this computer for hours and pound at the keys. The ideas are flowing like water. And in a strange way, television brought me here.

Here is the episode: Making His BandMTV Shows
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~ by Reveye on September 15, 2009.

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